Tuesday, 29 March 2016

THE ODD SOCK BAG

Everyone has that moment, don't they? When it finally hits you that you're a parent. Maybe it was the first time you received a letter addressed to 'Parent/Guardian of', or the first time you wonder how your sweet, little baby managed to get poop up the front and the back? What about the first time you swallowed all those nerves and went to a Mother & Baby group (I still haven't been brave enough to do this) or the first time you offer advice to one of your pregnant friends even though you hated people doing this to you when you were pregnant.

Whatever it was, we all have that mind blowing realisation of 'Oh my god, I'm somebodies MUM'.


For me it was having an odd sock bag. 

I remember my mum having an odd sock bag, and earning some of my pocket money by going through it and making sure there wasn't any stray pairs that had been thrown in. I remember my nan having an odd sock bag too, and I'm pretty sure they both still have one (who doesn't, let's be honest). 

I don't know why the odd sock bag gave me that pivotal moment, but all of a sudden I just felt like a proper mum. A mum who does the best she can for her babies, and a mum who loves her babies more than life itself. 

When I was younger I always struggled with finding a sense of purpose. I dropped out of doing my A Levels (twice) and the longest I've ever stuck a job out for is 6 months, but this is completely different. I was never happy as a teenager at school, I was never fulfilled and always felt like something was missing, but now I think I feel complete. I feel like I have a purpose, and that purpose is to love my little person as much as I possibly can. To raise a strong, kind, confident little girl who knows that she can do whatever her heart desires if she sets her mind to it. To raise a child who knows that her parents will always love her and be proud of her as long as she tries her absolutely best, because what more could we ask of her. 

Being a parent is much more than I imagined it would be. Yes, Freya has slotted into our lives so easily just like I expected her to, but never did I think I could love someone like this. Never did I think I would want to protect someone as much as I want to protect her. And the thought of someone upsetting my baby girl or being mean to her when she goes to school or nursery is something that breaks my heart almost daily, even now when we're five years away from her school days. 

Being a mum is hard, there's no doubt about that, but it is definitely outweighed by all the amazing things that come with having a child and being responsible for someone else's happiness. 

I could talk about how much I love being a mum forever, but for now there's an odd sock bag calling my name...

Thanks for reading, 

Grace x